ally

plastickwhore @ 2002-06-17T17:24:00

2002-06-18T00:24:53Z

www.xanga.com/plastickfish.

i give up.

plastickwhore @ 2002-06-16T17:17:00

2002-06-17T00:22:46Z

i haven't written anything actually interesting in my journal for a while. nothing interestings really been happening.

on friday i went to the sand dumes and then to triangle beach. lots of shit happened. it was steves first day having his license and he slammed into the back of brocks moms car in the burger king parking lots. that was pretty funny.

last night we went to darryls party. i am not friends with darryl and i don't know him at all, but he has a sweet house and it was pretty fun. well what i remember of it was.

my dad and lila are stoned and they're arguing over what kind of ice cream to get. my dad wants dairy queen but lila wants 'real' ice cream.

someone please come see a movie with me, if i don't find anyone i have to go see scooby doo with the family.

blah.

plastickwhore @ 2002-06-15T13:09:00

2002-06-15T20:13:49Z

codycahall: why is it i'm waking up every morning alone in bed? =(
seen every star: because i just quickly sneak in through your bedroom window to take advantage of you then i leave before you wake up.
codycahall: oh is that how it goes?
seen every star: haha yup.
codycahall: well why not stay?
codycahall: and have more time to take advantage of me, but only when i'm awake
seen every star: i never thought of that one..good idea! haha
codycahall: jesus didn't you see the handcuffs in the desk, top drawer
seen every star: aw, no.
codycahall: well
seen every star: maybe next time

haha i rule.

fucking.

2002-06-14T22:19:28Z

today has been a fucked up day. nothing is going the way its supposed to. i got woken up at 7:30 by my fucking counsellar who was calling to tell me the school fucked up my schedule for next year and that i had to come in before school and make an appointment with her.

i was planning on sleeping in and going late but now because i had to meet her i couldn't. so i went and met her at 8:30 and she told me to come in at 10:30 which was during my photography class and i really didn't want to leave photography, but had too.

so i went and she wasn't there. after waiting for a while she finally showed up. because my schools so frucking gay, they only offer certain classes once during the day and a lot of the classes i wanted for next year ended up overlapping so i had to choose other ones.

law is only offered once a day during first period on day 2's. thats the same block as my math 11 essentials (which is also only offered that block) which i need to graduate. so i could no longer take law.

english lit was offered during the same block as art careers and i really want to take art careers so i can have a portfolio for college and shit. so i also had to drop english lit.

then i had to apply for a study block since there were no classes during that block that i wanted to take.

i was also going to take writing next year but they fucked that one up too and its not being offered next year now. fuck.

so next year i'm taking:
english
comparative civ (art history)
art careers
art
va2d (visual arts 2d)
yearbook
math 11 essentials
and my study block

i guess thats not too bad of a schedule.

then things got worse. we gave gordon $60 to go to the liquor store but while he was at broadmoore he decided to deal a bit and he got arrested.

so our $60 is now sitting in gordons car outside the jail.

fuck.

so now instead of dyeing my hair tomorrow i have to spend more money on liquor so i can go to triangle beach tonight and have fun.

i'm so glad that we're all hanging out together now. i was always saying how our grad afterparty and shits going to suck because like no one in our grade is very close and lots of people probably wouldn't go. but lately we've all been hanging out and its fun. we were kinda close in grade 8 and 9, and then we kinda just stopped hanging out but now we're all together again.

'have fun whatever you're doing, be careful, safety first'-lily to her brother

me and lily have been listening to the deftones and rage lately. its weird i haven't listened to this music in like 2 years.

oh yea, and lily found this in someones journal:

shibby4elyse (11:03:11 PM): I got a kitten!! and named her chino
LifeIsPeachy9887 (11:03:36 PM): lol
LifeIsPeachy9887 (11:03:40 PM): but chino is a guys name.......
LifeIsPeachy9887 (11:03:46 PM): not a girls name
shibby4elyse (11:04:01 PM): so, its cute, shes 3 weeks old and she's so cute
LifeIsPeachy9887 (11:04:20 PM): yea i fuckin bet whore

yes that's right I got a kitten, she's only 2 weeks old, I named her Chino.

bastards.

no, no, no.

2002-06-13T22:28:56Z

i can't stand this heat. we're all walking around fanning ourselves with little paper fans
and taking as many shortcuts through the shade as possible even if it takes 20 minutes longer than usual.

people are walking around practically naked. my legs are sunburnt from wearing this skirt.

everyones talking all excitedly about brett asking for my number. i think its just a friend thing, but..whatever.

this weekend we're all going to drink at garry point and bretts coming with his band to jam with glenns band. so we're gonna be drinking on the beach with hot boys that play instruments.

oh. my. god.

.shanbo told us something about brett that gave us even more of a reason to like him.

talent

crimsonXnight: the name colby means 'high'
crimsonXnight: i dont know what kinda high.. but i thought that was silly
seen every star: i know someone named corby, i wonder if that means 'high' too. cause then that would make a lot of sense.

could someone please make the heat end?

plastickwhore @ 2002-06-13T11:55:00

2002-06-13T18:57:44Z

i cannot stand this heat. the front page of the newspaper today said:

'we're havin' a heat wave - at last!!'

..i don't want a fucking heat wave. its toooo hot :(

i can't function properly in fucking 34 degree weather. its insane.

todays lilys birthday. aw, i love you lily.

tonight we're having a barbeque for lily at shannons and everyones coming. its going to be fun fun! then tomorrow night..

we're drinking. hellllllls yes.

yesterday i had the most awesome day. i ran into brett priest and that ended nicely. hes gonna call me and we'll bogue.

then mitch picked up me and lily and we went and met everyone at the sand dumes. they're like a million feet high. i climbed up and just walked around. the boys were jumping off them and shit. i was wayy too scared. and i was wearing a skirt so there was no way anyone could get me to jump off.

the guys were just sliding down the huuuuuge sand things.

then we went to triangle beach. and did, nothing.

then we went and played hide and seek in the forest. well it wasn't really hide and seek, me, tashy, and lily ran and jason, mitch, and lloyd chased us. we would hear them stop, so we'd stop. then they'd like yell and we'd realise they were right behind us, so we'd start running again. i was afraid we would get lost but, we didn't.

then we went to the dyke and bogued and shit. it was fun fun!

my life right now is pretty much perfect. i have absolutly no complaints and everything seems to just be getting better.

i am truly truly happy.

today was my last class with mr mcinnis. it was sad :( i'm going to miss him, not only is he fucking gorgeous. but hes actually a good teacher.

..and hes FUCKING GORGEOUS!!M

plastickwhore @ 2002-06-11T22:29:00

2002-06-12T03:52:59Z

tonight ruled.

shanbo!! you know how everyones always asking if jason really has a p.a piercing? he does. i saw it. numerous times (by accident).

jasons fucking psycho, he does the craziest stuff.

tashy bought me cigarettes. i <3 you tashy.

i am happy :)

nicole bought me a shotglass in ny. it sounds nice.

NfGc913: it says new york and it's blue and has gold stars and the new york skyline

i looooove nicole.

NfGc913: and i got you a statue of liberty lighter in china town but i got it home and realized it doesn't work :(

I LOVE YOU!!

and i love you. soo so much.

my dads trying to send me to australia for a year. everyone wants me to go so bad. they've got a ticket for me and everything. i don't want to go. buttt, i've decided i'm going to go for about 3 months with..LILY!! if we trade in my one ticket we can get 2 cheap tickets if we go during a different season so we're going to go next fall. if anyone wants to come, you just have to buy a ticket. we're gonna stay at my cousins apartment and my aunties house, and we'll just do fuck all for 3 months (like we do here..) but in..AUSTRALIA!

..yay.

fabrizio..mm.

2002-06-11T16:16:34Z

you should stay sometime, because then maybe we could wake up together.

oh.my.god.

sho says:

my mom offered to adopt ally. he he sweet. It would be like the eccentric sister i never had, yet always wanted.

i'm not eccentric. i'm not exciting. i'm not entertaining. i'm not funny. i'm not nice.

..i'm just weird.

but thank you.

matt just invited me to bogue with him before mr mcinnis' class. yay. going to his class stoned is the best.

its lilys birthday in 2 days. happy happy happy day.

on friday we're al going to kits beach to celebrate. we're going prepared. we're bringing, cigarettes, towels, lots of weed, bacardi, beer, coolers, whatever, extra clothes, something to start a fire, marshmellows, shit to make a sand castle, and food.

all that + us = fun!!

plastickwhore @ 2002-06-10T16:52:00

2002-06-11T00:02:00Z

i wrote a pointless entry (as always) but erased it cause, who the fuck cares.
and now i'm going to write another one.

i really enjoyed my dream last night, i got so mad when my alarm went off. i went back to sleep and tried to continue my dream but couldn't.

its supposed to be 33 degrees out tomorrow, wednesday, and thursday. thats too fucking hot. for all you stupid americans, thats 92 degrees farenheit.

i'm excited for tomorrow but i can't tell you why.

j-lo broke up with her husband. who would've thunk it?

i love you

yay.

2002-06-10T00:07:40Z

they graduated. congratulations. i looove you ladies.

i think shaughnas in love with me. i got an email from her and all it said was:

To see you when I wake up
is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
is a three-fold, utopian dream.
You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said,
I miss you.
I see your picture, I smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine. You have only been gone ten days, but already I'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again
whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care
and I miss you.

---

yea. she must be in love with me or something. she probably just misses all my hot sex.

plastickwhore @ 2002-06-08T12:41:00

2002-06-08T19:45:42Z

i always wonder, how the fuck do me and my friends get into situations like these? i swear, weird people and trouble follow us everywhere.

last night me, lily, and shanbo picked up some bacardi and went to the beach. we went in the water (while some weird guys watched us) and drank and just had a lot of fun. we came back into richmond because nothing was going on downtown and we really wanted to smoke.

so we finally get back into richmond and after a lot of frustration and extreme annoyance, we arrived at broadmoore. some guy in a truck yelled at us as we were crossing the street and shannon was convinced it was matt so we went to go see.

sure enough..it was matt. and cody. both looking hot as ever. they were going to some girls house and they said they'd call us later. i don't know if they did because later on my cell phone died.

we decided to go to the woo. no one was there.

then crystal called my cell phone. she was with chris and saber all night and they some how convinced her to do coke with them. so she was all frucked up. she was really confused and shit so i told her to stay where she was and we'd come and get her.

so we did.

she told us that some guy told her that everyone was up at broadmoore. we were just at broadmoore so we said 'no, no ones there, we were just there' but she insisted.

sure enough (because crystal is our guardian angel..) when we got to broadmoore there were a lot of people there.

some guy followed us to broadmoore and ended up staying with us pretty much all night.

me and lily decided that we can convince people to do just about anything. seriously. we had no money. we spent it all, and we still ended up getting three free seshes at broadmoore. one from some guy named troy, then nathan, and then some guy named jade.

oh yea, on the way to broadmoore crystal walked into a pole and her face swelled up and shes got a huuuuge black eye.

we met mike englands brother mitch. mikes fucking hot, and mitch will be too in a few years. but yea, he was really cute.

crystal was so fucking entertaining. she would not stop talking and giggling. as soon as she finished one sentence she'd be like 'hey you know what?' and start going on about something else. when we finally found some light i looked at her and you couldn't even see the color of her eyes because her pupils were soo big.

we love crystal (meth-coco pop)

.

the downside to our night was some friends selling us out. we understand that you might have wanted to stay sober or whatever and with those boys, but you could've at least just told us. its not like we would've gotten mad. we could've hooked up tonight or tomorrow. but you didn't need to lie to us, and make excuses, and have dave lie to us. and not stop him.

glenn said that this always happens. some girl will sell out her friends for her new boyfriend. some guys are rreally big assholes. not to mention that they're incredibly rude, immature, and pathetic. if you ask us.

sho, i know you like him. don't forget about us though.

i had the weirdest thing happen to me in lilys bathroom last night. i was in there and her apartments having their water fixed so the sink was kind of making weird noises. well, i thought those weird noises were a radio for some reason. i could hear it soo clearly, and i swear it was a radio. so i went through all her cupboards and shit trying to find the radio.

then of course the sink stopped making noises when i dragged lily and meryl in there too show them.

me and lily sat on her bed laughing about absolutly nothing for the longest time last night. i was crying i was laughing so hard. i don't remember what was so funny, but it was something.

i haven't done anything like that since like, grade 9.

tomorrows valedictory.

i'm not going. i want too. but i forgot to buy a ticket :(

if i don't get to see my bitches graduate tomorrow, i'll cry.

only 4 more days of mr mcinnis, then none of us will ever see him again. :(

plastickwhore @ 2002-06-06T09:15:00

2002-06-06T05:59:29Z

we have a sub in art and instead of doing work, she put on fantasia. i fucking hate when teachers do that. i want to work on my project! so i came to the library with tashy and shanbo instead.

am i some kind of a monster? an abnormality? a psychopath of some kind? they say that a sign of a psychopath is fake charm. turning it on for stuff you don't like. sometimes i feel like my job at school now is saying hello and making small talk in the hal ls. i wonder how many times a day i say 'hello'. theres all that stuff about kids seeing 18,000 tv murders before they're like 4. but 'hello' is worse. its become meaningless, its a con. a way to trick us into thinking we're engaged in human attraction. i could be saying hello to a plant, or my cat. last week these 2 girls were walking at an intense speed and they knocked heads right in front of me. they both landed flat on their backs it was like i was watching it on tv. one girl looked like she was knocked out cold, i didn't even stop to see if they were okay. i might as well have said hello.°

yuck.

2002-06-06T02:05:47Z

i was going to write all about what happened today (me being approached my kristian, mr mcinnis, etc)

but who cares about that?

so the next logical thing i could think of to write about would be my feelings and all that shit. but then i realised, no one cares about that anymore either.

i want someone to care.

me: i need sex
not me: you don't need sex, you want it.

i'm really confused as to what i want, and what i need. i know i don't need sex.

i don't even care about the sex part, i just want the laying together that follows. maybe even an after fuck 'thank you' hug. i just want to be held again. honestly.

i have this horrible feeling that what he felt isn't there anymore. i guess it'd be my fault. i want everything back to how it was before when i was happy.

i have all these dreams about next year. doing good in school, actually applying and getting into a college, having someone to be with, always having that much needed kiss, getting a job, getting my license and car, maybe hopfully seeing you again. but then i am reminded of my constant failures and it all just seems like a waste of time to even think about.

i've been so excited for summer but i know when it comes i'm just going to waste it. i do it every year. i get so excited then i end up wasting my days sleeping, and wasting my nights doing things making it difficult to remember them.

blah.

i guess i'll go have another cigarette. i've been doing that a lot lately. i can feel my lungs slowly wasting away..

maybe i'll die soon :)

i realised..
i don't care if i die. i don't really feel like i've got much to live for. (i don't want to die, don't worry, i'm just saying, i wouldn't care.)

me not caring if i die isn't even the sad part. its realising that no one else would care either that hurts.

maybe if i stop expecting him.her.them to care then it won't be such a let down when they don't.

would you please just talk to me?

more pointless bullshit.

2002-06-05T05:21:35Z

today was the wedding. she looked gorgeous and he looked happy. who am i to complain?

people tell me that i have nothing to complain about and that my lifes pretty good. either they're completly clueless or i'm completly spoiled and whiny.

its probably both.

theres always something, isn't there.

you:

i'm sorry if you're not happy right now. i really want you to be. with all the shit going on i feel like i've been acting really selfish. i just want what was originally felt and when its not there, i get upset. if i can do anything to make things better please tell me. i feel as if i've done something wrong. i could never even imagine kissing anyone other than you right now. i honestly don't even see the point, it'd just be meaningless and no where near a kiss from you in comparison.

sorry.

today was so full of love. yet i wasn't recieving any of it.

i wonder if i really need love or if its just something i want. i think i need it.

i know i need you.

i see you and i can't speak. emotion gets the best of me. so sweetly, i dream of you. there's something i can't explain about you, that makes me weak.

theres one person that might like to know what i mean. i changed my mind, i'd be more than willing to explain anything that you feel is important.

i love you.

such happy feelings. but i still feel so unbelievably unhappy. i don't know what it is. i don't think any words or anything would fix it. all people do is talk, talk, talk and it doesn't seem to get them anywhere.

things that will make me happy:
-a hug.
..from you

the one thing i can think of, is the one thing i know i can't have.

typical.

plastickwhore @ 2002-06-04T09:13:00

2002-06-04T16:11:40Z

edit: fabrizio is the 2nd best kisser.

plastickwhore @ 2002-06-03T22:47:00

2002-06-04T05:46:27Z

dear boy in the starburst commercial and fabrizio,

i love you. please marry me.

fabrizio, you're the best kisser in the entire world.

and boy in the starbursts commercial, you're hot.

love,

ally.

its 10:45 and i'm already drunk.

i'll ascend.

2002-06-03T03:11:20Z

you know, of the million things that you 'had to say'. you’d think sorry just might have found it’s way in there somehow.

someway,

……anyway.

i’m not so sure if i’m sure of anything anymore.
you're so guilty it’s disgusting
but don’t worry……because I already know.

so obviously desperate. so desperately obvious. i'll give in one more time and feed you stupid lines all about 'cleaning up my act...' so sick (so sick) of being tired and oh so tired of being sick. willing and waiting to prove the worst of everything you say about me. so obviously desperate. so desperately obvious. so good at setting bad examples, but 'i've had all i can handle' you won't stand for hazy eyes anymore.

think of all the fun we had. the finest line divides a night well spent from a waste of time. think of all the nights you spent alone with just your tv set and..'i can barely open my eyes' he smoked out in the back of the van, says he's held up with holding on.... (and on and on and on and on and on....)

i want him.

but come on, you could have any other girl to take my place so you can hold her when you're feeling all alone.

have you found the person that you want to spend your life with? or do you want another. you can't proscribe affection because you're scared to live.

i want to know the reasons my life did not turn out more like a movie. but i'm trying to forget it all. i wish i could say i'll be sleeping today so i can wake in your arms tonight.

don't even bother reading this.

2002-06-01T20:54:44Z

wow. i totally don't remember writing that last entry.

i woke up, showered and went straight to lilas. i didn't give myself time to realise how incredibly hungover i was. so i got to lilas, and after being there for about, 20 minutes. i threw up. a lot.

i never used to get hangovers until recently.

but like you care right?

i feel like i'm constantly writing pointless journal entries that aren't interesting, or important, or what in my opinion a journal should be used for.

its a lot like my life. i'm constantly thinking about things that aren't important, doing things that aren't interesting and wasting time doing stupid things that my time shouldn't be wasted on.

i want a change again. something different. my whole life is about to change drastically but its not enough. i want more of a change. physically, and in every other way possible.

i don't want anything to be the way it is now.

i wanted a change before and for a while i had that change. i was truly truly happy. but then things went back to the way they were before and seem like they will continue to be until i make something happen. so i'm going to.

i have a lot i wish i could say but i don't feel like saying it.

i'm sorry i can't say all the things you need to hear.

so i'll ask a question.

if you could go back and re live any day of your life, what day would it be, what happened on this day, and why would you want to re live it?

if you love, like, or even hate me you'll comment and answer my question.

.fucking do it.

long and pointless.

2002-06-01T08:06:30Z

uh tonight was fun.

weeee drank a twixer and bogued with dirtbag. um, we went ot cactus club, got really confused in the bathroom and left. we went to the mall we were gonna go to some diner but it was closed. so we went to the mall. tasha threw up sooo bad outside (this is all still BEFORE like, 9:00) tasha ended up passing out like 203004 times so she got picked up (at 9:10) then sho and avi left. so me, matt, jason, shanbo and lily went to the mall. ran into some guy from earlier and picked up. then we all piled into jasons car and went and met glenn. we sat in some sweet car at 711 and had a icgarette. then we realised we were all sober again (shanbo hadn't drinken yet) so glenn got us a mickey. then we went and got a chaser and i used the washroom in tinos pizza and the guys let me go all the way to the back ((through the fucking boiling hot kitchen) and it was fun. then we called crystal and told her to go to the woo. we walked to the woo and crystal called me saying 'i don't know where i am, i'm near the cop shop in the middle of the field' so we somehow found her and went to the woo. we drank our mikcey and bouged and shannon threw up. then we walked lily home. we stopped in the field and made music. and like talked. then we got to lilys apartments and like all chilled on the ground looking at the stars. then lily left (at 11:15) and mee matt shanbo bogdan jason and crystal decided we would go to the middle of the blue apartments to look at the stars. but we somehow ended up at bridge. we hacked, smoked the rest of our weed anddd played on the playground. then we played truth or dare. saw some nakedness (of matt) thenennn we hacked again and like wasted time. shanbo threw up again sometime at bridge. then crystal got a ride hoem and we decided me and shanbo would walkw ith matt and them to garden city. we were gonna go to jays house but..we didn't. there was some nakedness at brisge in the field (again with the boys) but yea, we had sooo much fun walking back. we went to the path from bridge to ryan road and matt and jason started running in circles around me and scared the shit out of me. when we were walking through the path the boys ran ahead and me and shanbo didn't notice. then when we got to the road jason ran out all silent hill style crawling on the ground and scared the shit out of me, AGAIN! then we went to south arm field and when we were walking through the tree-y area me and shanbo stood on the path with our eyes closed, then the boys would hide and then when we walked down the path they'd jump out at us and it was fun. then we ran across the field doing stupid shit. thennn we walked through the back of the school and went to the tennis courts. it was like, 12:30 by then. then we like talked and did more stupid stuff. matt like did somethign wierd behind me and his mouth was right by my ear and he was talking about weeiiiiird stuff. like, in german and russian. then we walked a bit and thennn we finally said our goodbyes and me and shanbo went down garden city to my house.

now we're home. shanbos making food cause shes hungry and watching tv. its so good to be home.

my dads birthdays on tuesday. he'll be 43..hes getting old. eww. oh yea, hes also getting married on tuesday. i'm the best man, and nicholas is the flower girl. me, lily, shao, and tasha are all going and getting sooo drunk.

it'll be sweet.

which BAND are you? find
out!

plastickwhore @ 2002-05-31T16:40:00

2002-05-31T23:38:26Z

so we're now $300 something in debt.

'chris will kill us if we don't pay him'-krystal
'no he won't, we're girls'-me
'maybe he'll break our legs'-jason
'hes not gonna hurt girls so its all good, but jason you're a guy so..you're fucked.'-me

we were talking at the bridge after school about how much we owe these guys.

'i don't owe anything, i didn't buy any weed'-shannon
'yea but you smoked it'-me
'oh yea.'-shannon

none of us bought any really..but we smoked what we were supposed to deal. oops.

i didn't go to art or guitar today. i got super sunburnt. like, 10 or so of us all layed in the field. smoked some pot (like we have every day for the past few weeks) and just..did that. the boys hacked and we watched. well tasha and shannon joined them for a bit. but shannon kept using her hands.

there was supposed to be a fight today between dirtbag, amanda, steph, and uh, some stretch girls. everyone knew about it and wanted to see it. so there ended up being at least 100 people there. some of which no one knew.

right as they were about to psycho on eachothers faces mrs sorochan showed up and sent everyone to class. the girls that were supposed to fight left though and then they kicked the shit out of eachother after. the cops came and everyone eventually left though. one of the cops called courtney 'the one with the mike tyson ear' cause she was missing a piece of her ear (she slammed into the cement) and it was sick.

steph beat the shit out of some girls face and she had blood everywhere. but of course, i missed it.

oh well.

oh yea, i'm back at home now. as soon as i got home chino jumped on me and we cuddled for a lonnnnng time. i missed her.

tonight i'm getting a micky of bacardi (or maybe me and tashy are getting a twixer, i'm not sure yet) and we're getting pissed and going to some guys (steve i think?) birthday thingee. i really don't even know the guy but, whatever.

there was a warped tour poster taped up outside the school, i stole it.

i got an email from sho today! it said:

'hey fuckface.
you're ugly.'

...aww, i love sho.

i got so much darkroom time today, at first i didn't even care about photography. but now i love it. i got so many pictures done today, it was sweet.

matt said i was beautiful today.

..in a really weird german (i think?) accent.

yup.

does anything i say have any actual importance to you?

2002-05-31T02:15:47Z

frucking hell. i keep writing in this and it keeps fucking up.

so, fuck it. i give up.

a lot of people have been saying 'don't get too into it'

don't worry. i'm just trying something new. i am not going to get 'too into it'.

i'm not worrying what you're getting too into am i? no.

mind yo biznaz (thats for shanbo)

..i think i'm going to start calling my head my 'noggin'

oh yeah. i always said i could never deal cause i'd end up smoking it all or some shit. so where did we get the brilliant idea to deal for someone else? i don't know. but we're $200 in debt and it frucking sucks.

everytime we get money we spend it. then we try to get more money together but we're all too fucked up to figure it out.

i did however figure out how all those musicians jump so damn high.

watch me melt, watch me melt away.

2002-05-30T15:06:51Z

yea, i know. i don't deserve you. yesterday i watched you leave 10 seconds too late.

yesterday was quite the adventure. i think i fell in love..it was fun.

todays a new day.

its so beautiful out today. i have everything i need. my discman..with broken headphones :( my piebald cd. cigarettes. lipgloss. my collection of lighters (9!) and a little change.

i want us to go on another adventure today. i think we will.

...i need you here, more than you know...

'randies been going tanning every day for the past month, shes addicted and her face is like, orange!'-shannons sister.

grad is tomorrow and the girls are orange.

..funny.

everyone said me and shannon wouldn't sleep last night, but we did. a lot. it was great.

plastickwhore @ 2002-05-29T16:05:00

2002-05-29T23:10:52Z

you're high art. you're about lesbians and heroin and take place in new york. how trendy.

take the which prettie movie are you? quiz, a product of the slinkstercool community.

i always said i'd try everything once, and today i proved it. don't call me stupid, i know what i'm doing.

'are you gonna do it tashy?'-me
'i don't know, you got wierd'-tashy

..time to smoke some buddah.

everyone else is doing it.

2002-05-29T05:04:14Z

i want sex. and not just that 'facking' kind of sex. i want that 'i love you' kind of sex. that kinds better.

..yea, i've really got to stop talking to people that have boyfriends and have been getting ass. its not healthy for me.

goodnight.

wow.

2002-05-29T02:48:05Z

i've been sleeping on shannons couch for the past 4 hours but i'm still tired because i was waking up like every, 10 minutes.

i have a headache.

i think today i reached my limit for how much weed i can smoke at school. i was so dead in math class.

blah, no wonder i'm so tired.

happy birthday mom.
<3 <3 <3

why does this have to be so hard? :(